Through the Glass Dimly

I suddenly awoke to my heart beat sky rocketing. It was literally 180-200 beats per minute. I hadn't had a bad dream. I wasn't extra stressed about anything in life. I was 25, 9 months into a brand new marriage, and was living in Houston, Texas surrounded by good art. That morning changed everything. My husband called an ambulance and the paramedics came. I laid on my couch in my living room while they struggled to find a vein to start my IV. Finally, after 5 attempts the iv was in. As I searched for my husbands face and held his hand I was told they were going ton push a drug that would cause my heart rate to beat normally. My heart was still pounding 180-210 per minute, and was extremely irregular. My chest was beginning to ache from my heart working so hard. "This is going to feel really weird" they told me, as I grasped Josh's hand so tightly and stared into his eyes. And with that they pushed this medicine that made my veins feel greasy, made my heart f...

I don't write because I don't think I have anything brilliant to say. I don't create because I don't think I will make the greatest piece of artwork ever made. And I did not write this because its brilliant (it most definitely is not), but because writing has a kind of therapeutic value for me. I always felt like I had something to say before, but I'm in a new stage of life... a stage where I know very little about anything. You can always know that your life is going to change dramatically whenever you get to a point where you think you have things figured out. You think you have the puzzle pieces that make everything make sense. I remember wanting this. Desiring to be a wife and stay at home mom so badly. I remember my sister saying something like, "Shouldn't you aspire to be something greater?" I was so mad. So now this is my life. Its funny how 10 years changes you as a person. How different I am now from when I was 17 and in high school,...

I have not blogged in a long time. That's what everyone with a blog says when they write a blog after taking a long departure from the blogosphere. So what have I been doing? Learning how to be a mommy. Ellie turned 4 months old last week, and was baptized yesterday!!! I feel sooo blessed to be called her mother, and she thrills my soul. Trying to jump start my photography business. Being on maternity leave is really giving me the opportunity to figure out what I really want in life, and that is to be a mommy/wife, create, write, and cook. I remember falling in love with photography long ago, and I am rediscovering my old love. There is so much to start a business its a bit overwhelming, but I pray the Lord directs each of my steps on this attempt and that I don't get so busy that I become a bad mommy. In my attempt to jumpstart my business and to figure out what I really want, I attended this online seminar the other day about being in years 1-3 of a new photography busi...