Through the Glass Dimly

I suddenly awoke to my heart beat sky rocketing. It was literally 180-200 beats per minute. I hadn't had a bad dream. I wasn't extra stressed about anything in life. I was 25, 9 months into a brand new marriage, and was living in Houston, Texas surrounded by good art. That morning changed everything. My husband called an ambulance and the paramedics came. I laid on my couch in my living room while they struggled to find a vein to start my IV. Finally, after 5 attempts the iv was in. As I searched for my husbands face and held his hand I was told they were going ton push a drug that would cause my heart rate to beat normally. My heart was still pounding 180-210 per minute, and was extremely irregular. My chest was beginning to ache from my heart working so hard. "This is going to feel really weird" they told me, as I grasped Josh's hand so tightly and stared into his eyes. And with that they pushed this medicine that made my veins feel greasy, made my heart f...

I'm pretty sure this song will forever remind me of this pregnancy. I listened to it so much when I was first pregnant, driving to work and feeling oh so nauseous. I heard it again last Sunday morning, on the way to church, and it meant so much more to me then. Since Josh isn't legally able to work right now, and I was put on modified bed rest just a few days previous to said Sunday morning, I was struggling in my spirit. I don't want to complain about how bad I have it. I am blessed. However humbling it may be, it is pure grace that we are able to live at my sweet and generous parents home right now. I could just as easily be out on the street this very moment, but I am blessed with a roof over my head, and food to eat, though I will not say that it is easy to live like this. Wondering how we will pay bills, and whether we will have what we need for Ellie when she arrives. Needless to say, this is not the position that I had dreamed of when I thought of ...

Remember how when you were three years old it really made you feel like your daddy loved you when he let you climb up into his lap and just rest there? Or how you really knew your mommy loved you when she saw you watching her with awe whilst she put her makeup on, and she dabbed just a smidge on your cheeks? As children we saw that our parents loved us when we got a brand new pretty pink dress instead of a hand-me-down, or that brand new Safari Barbie Doll we wanted oh so much. But even then, as children, we did not think about how our parents loved us with everything they did, including the difficult things, like not allowing us to go to that school party that was on Sunday because it was better for us to go to church than to do cool fun things with our friends, or giving us the hand-me-down clothes so they could provide us with other good things like food to eat. I've been thinking about the love of God a lot for the past few weeks, and how sometimes its a comfortable kind of ...

I was reading back over an old blog and read this post from February 2008. Its funny how God comforts us through our own words sometimes. No wonder the old testament is filled with the advice to look back to the days of old, and see what God did for you then. Only then, are we able to see what He might be doing in us and through us now. I hope you enjoy this post as much as I did: YWH is my Shepherd I shall not want He makes me lie down in green pastures He leads me beside waters of rest He restores my soul He guides me in paths of righteousness For His names sake Even though I walk through the valley of deep deep darkness I fear no evil For You are with me I am comforted by your rod and staff --I was studying the literal Hebrew translations in this famous passage last night, and found that I like the alternative translations that I found.... waters of rest, and deep deep darkness. A passage that is so widely known that it almost has lost its meaning for those that have heard it over a...