Dear Refuge of My Weary Soul

I'm pretty sure this song will forever remind me of this pregnancy. I listened to it so much when I was first pregnant, driving to work and feeling oh so nauseous. I heard it again last Sunday morning, on the way to church, and it meant so much more to me then. Since Josh isn't legally able to work right now, and I was put on modified bed rest just a few days previous to said Sunday morning, I was struggling in my spirit.

I don't want to complain about how bad I have it. I am blessed. However humbling it may be, it is pure grace that we are able to live at my sweet and generous parents home right now. I could just as easily be out on the street this very moment, but I am blessed with a roof over my head, and food to eat, though I will not say that it is easy to live like this. Wondering how we will pay bills, and whether we will have what we need for Ellie when she arrives.

Needless to say, this is not the position that I had dreamed of when I thought of "having a baby one day". I had always thought at this point we would be "self-sustained", have a nice little home, and be comfortable as far as finances go.

But "self-sustained" is never the case in any ones circumstances. The truth is that all of us are only ever sustained by the grace of God, for "He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous" (Matthew 5:45). So, although I am slightly uncomfortable with where I am in life, I know that I am, and always will be, fully provided for by my heavenly Father.


As I was listening to a sermon online earlier today (since I was unable to get to church this morning as late term pregnancy gets more and more uncomfortable and makes me more and more unable to get around), I was reminded that, as a Christian, this life is really as bad as it gets. Yes, there are troubles that arise, and we doubt, and we struggle, but there are also beautiful and wonderful moments like feeling a 34 week baby moving around in your womb, and soon getting to meet that precious little one that God has been forming within you for months and months. As I struggle through the tough times, and rejoice in the rapturous moments of life's wonderful moments, I yet have this hope that one day in the life to come, there will be no more troubles, or sorrows for me.

I hope you read these lyrics and are just as blessed by them as I am.

1. Dear refuge of my weary soul,
On Thee, when sorrows rise
On Thee, when waves of trouble roll,
My fainting hope relies
To Thee I tell each rising grief,
For Thou alone canst heal
Thy Word can bring a sweet relief,
For every pain I feel

2. But oh! When gloomy doubts prevail,
I fear to call Thee mine
The springs of comfort seem to fail,
And all my hopes decline
Yet gracious God, where shall I flee?
Thou art my only trust
And still my soul would cleave to Thee
Though prostrate in the dust

3. Hast Thou not bid me seek Thy face,
And shall I seek in vain?
And can the ear of sovereign grace,
Be deaf when I complain?
No still the ear of sovereign grace,
Attends the mourner’s prayer
Oh may I ever find access,
To breathe my sorrows there

4. Thy mercy seat is open still,
Here let my soul retreat
With humble hope attend Thy will,
And wait beneath Thy feet,
Thy mercy seat is open still,
Here let my soul retreat
With humble hope attend Thy will,
And wait beneath Thy feet