Skip to main content

We Will Feast and Weep No More


We will feast in the house of ZionWe will sing with our hearts restored
He has done great things, we will say together
We will feast and weep no more


Maggie-May. My sweet little spitfired spirited seven year old. Today our church met at our house for service, and you had been weeping in your room for a few minutes before church was about to start. You very passionately wanted both options of what I had offered (a colouring sheet or a lollipop for during the sermon)... it didn't seem fair to you and you didn't know why I was trying to gently guide you to the lollipop... because I know you, and I know that a lollipop will help you focus better than a colouring sheet will and I know that your heart needed to be with your Father today.

Before we began I went and picked you up and held you and invited you to lead the songs with me from the back of the room (in the kitchen), drying your tears as we walked, because I knew that coming and being a part of worship would restore you, as it restores me. I stood in the kitchen by the island, and I set you, lovingly on the island right next to me so we could be close and I could hold you without holding you while Uncle Cory played guitar and I sung. 

And you sang. You sang with all of your heart and soul. The third song we led together was one of my absolute favourites by Sandra McCracken, We Will Feast in the House of Zion. Maggie-May, you sang that out with gusto... "we will feast and weep no more" and we hugged each-other, and sung cheek to cheek from deep within our souls. And I just had a picture of you and I in the New Heavens and New Earth... we were there together, arms around each other singing about how He has done GREAT things...

You've been having trouble sleeping at night. You've been weeping if I make you stay alone... so lately I've been laying down with you in your bottom bunk that is strung with twinkle lights... we'll lay there for hours and you have such trouble falling asleep... but I want you to feel safe, valued, and important. I think that sometimes you feel like an afterthought in this family of 5... the second of 3 children. Sometimes you feel a little lost... and when you feel.. you feel deeply. I've always loved that about you, my sweet May-May. You feel all emotions to their depths, and I love that about you because I feel like it's a window into how God feels with pure and holy, unadulterated emotion. Oh, I know it is hard, sweet-girl... and I know that you are going to go through a lot in this life... but May-May... when you feel love it is deep and full and wide and high... and when you feel hurt... you feel the bottom of it to the depths.

You, my Maggie-May, are a window for me to see my Father's heart. To see the depths of his love. To see His faithful and fierce love that WON'T let go, as you hold onto your friends as they leave with a death grip as if to show them that you want to keep them for always. That's how He holds onto me when I wander off from Him. He is faithful... and you show me that kind of love Maggie. 

And I know, sweet May, that our emotions are tainted with all sorts of brokenness down here in this world post the fall... and I know that it isn't supposed to be this way.... but even in your sadness I see a glimpse of our Saviour....  where the Bible tells us that "Jesus wept". Our Saviour... our rescuer came and lived among us... He experienced the weight of all of our human emotion... and He feels the weight of sin and sadness to its fullest... We have a Saviour who came because this world we live in IS broken. It is full of sadness that He came to reverse.

And Maggie-May, here's the best part, the Bible says "You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?" Psalm 56:8. Our Lord and Saviour, Jesus Christ, keeps a record of all of your tossings... and oh how you toss... and he bottles up your tears... and oh how you've wept. His life and death and resurrection were for you, sweet girl. He feels the weight of your sin and sadness.... He has come to make all things new again... 

And in this picture I had of us singing cheek to cheek in the place where our hearts will be FULLY restored, we both sang our hearts out to the Lord remembering the times we had wept... remembering the fires we went through.. the floods... and seeing how we have been redeemed. We have been called by name. And we will sing with fully healed and restored hearts... and oh my Maggie-May... I can't wait for that day.

Come Lord Jesus.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Barren Desert

I was standing in a barren desert surrounded with brown sandy nothingness. All I could see for miles was dry earth, sand, and a couple of tumble weeds. The sky was an eerie yellow color with a faint hint of blue. It was a Dali desert. It made me feel queasy. I must have been standing there for a while before she said to me, "This is the place I love to come and remember that I never have to have children. This is my happy place." I turned to see a friend of mine who I've actually only met in person once. She was guiding me through this desert place gently, smiling. I asked how this could possibly be a happy place for her, that it made me feel nothing but anxiety and nausea. She smiled and said, "This is the path I've chosen." Then, I was alone again, wandering through the sandy meadow, quietly aching inside. When I woke up this morning, I could not get that dream out of my head. So rich in symbolism. So... odd. I told a co-worker about it, after I had be...
12 comments
Read more

5 Inches From My Tear Streaked Face

I suddenly awoke to my heart beat sky rocketing. It was literally 180-200 beats per minute. I hadn't had a bad dream. I wasn't extra stressed about anything in life. I was 25, 9 months into a brand new marriage, and was living in Houston, Texas surrounded by good art. That morning changed everything. My husband called an ambulance and the paramedics came. I laid on my couch in my living room while they struggled to find a vein to start my IV. Finally, after 5 attempts the iv was in. As I searched for my husbands face and held his hand I was told they were going ton push a drug that would cause my heart rate to beat normally. My heart was still pounding 180-210 per minute, and was extremely irregular. My chest was beginning to ache from my heart working so hard. "This is going to feel really weird" they told me, as I grasped Josh's hand so tightly and stared into his eyes. And with that they pushed this medicine that made my veins feel greasy, made my heart f...
7 comments
Read more

Saturday Rituals

Edward Weston, Pepper , 1930 Last night I dreamed that I was grocery shopping at "my" Fiesta on Alabama and Dunlavy in the Montrose area of Houston, Texas. I was showing all of my female friends about how awesome Fiesta is for prices. I remember picking up a tin of cocoa powder (of course it had to have something to do with chocolate) and saying, "40 cents. Can't beat that." Before I moved to Kelowna, I had certain rituals that I did every Saturday. Saturdays were my favorite days because, well, I worked Monday through Friday nine to six every day, and Josh didn't have Saturdays off. Saturday was mine. Saturdays belonged to me and I loved them. So I would wake up around nine or ten in the morning, head straight to the coffee brewer, where I would make 6 cups of coffee all for myself. Of course, they've always called me the coffee snob, so this coffee was something dark-deep-heavenly like Sumatra (from Starbucks) or Rowanda (from Taft Street Coffee). On ...
7 comments
Read more