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Vexed in Spirit and Great Anxiety

She was deeply distressed and prayed to the Lord and wept bitterly.... ‘O Lord of hosts, if you will indeed look on the affliction of your servant and remember me and not forget your servant...’ Hannah was speaking in her heart; only her lips moved, and her voice was not heard. Therefore Eli took her to be a drunken woman. And Eli said to her, ‘How long will you go on being drunk? Put your wine away from you.’ But Hannah answered, ‘No my lord, I am a woman troubled in spirit. I have drunk neither wine nor strong drink, but I have been pouring out my soul before the LORD. Do not regard your servant as a worthless woman, for all along I have been speaking out of my great anxiety and vexation.’ Then Eli answered, ‘Go in peace, and the God of Israel grant your petition that you have made to him.’ And she said, ‘Let your servant find favour in your eyes.’ Then the woman went her way and ate, and her face was no longer sad.  
Excerpts from 1 Samuel 1

This is the word of the Lord.

How often am I “vexed in spirit and with great anxiety”, and yet I fail to pour out my soul to the One who can do something about it. There is another story of a man in Ecclesiastes who “Eats in darkness in much vexation and sickness and anger.” (Ecclesiastes 5:17). More often than not, I find myself as that man in Ecclesiastes... 

Look now, my soul, at Hannah’s great faith... and a better way. She knows her God is Sovereign and Almighty. She knows He has the power to calm her storm and free her from her great distress. 

Here is a woman who knows where to pour out her soul. We see in the earlier passage in 1 Samuel that she quietly refrains from eating her dinner, and is questioned about it by her loving husband, who can’t understand her great distress. Does she explode with anger at him, saying “You can’t understand!” Do we see her pouring out her complaints to her friend in bitterness? No. She goes to her God in prayer. While there is an obvious time for talking through our troubles with friends, and it is often helpful, our friends can’t act on our behalf.. and our friends can’t really do anything but listen.

How often do I bottle up all of my fears and anxieties and troubles and let them lead me to quiet despair and NOT pour out my spirit to the Lord. How often do I regurgitate my troubled spirit in sighs and complaints to friends who can do nothing about them? How often do I take my bottled up troubles and anxieties and spew them out in frustrations on my dear ones who have done nothing to trouble me. How often do I let the darkness consume me. If only I would take my cares to the Lord instead of taking out my bottled emotions on someone else. 

We see here that after pouring out her soul to the Lord, Hannah believes that God can act, and her burden is instantly lifted. We see that the very act of pouring out her soul to the Lord has lifted up her countenance. She knows her God is a loving God. She knows she can cry out to Him. He is the great comforter. He is the one we now know tasted our sorrows and was well acquainted with our grief. Even though her prayer has not yet been answered in a positive way, she is being filled with His peace.

You have kept count of my tossings; put my tears in your bottle. Are they not in your book?  - Psalm 56:8

The Lord knows all of our tossings of spirit. He knows our anxieties and He knows our trials. He keeps a record of all of our sadness, and all of the things that have not gone well... and it wasn’t enough for Him to stop there. He came and became one of us and lived among us and TASTED our sorrows so that in every way He could be with us, and free us from all that is wrong in the world.

He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not. Surely he has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows.   -  Isaiah 53:3-4

My soul... why is not the very first reflex of my trial and sadness to pour out my spirit to Him. He is good. He is loving. He will act. 

Why are you cast down, O my soul, and why are you in turmoil within me? Hope in God; for I shall again praise him, my salvation and my God.
 - Psalm 43:5

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