Years ago... back in the ol' university days, when time was a blanket and I was buried underneath it not knowing that this kind of time would not be forever. This was the kind of time that I was able to sit and drink coffee and no one would bother me as I spent hours delving into the scripture and writing in my prayer journal.
I thought this would be a normal occurence in my life, and for the REST of my life. Little did I know that building a business, and having two beautiful little girls, all within the course of 3 years would completely alter my perception of time.
To be honest, the majority of my time "spent with God" is just in the mundane moments of day to day. My conversations with God start in the midst of cracking an egg into a bowl. Adding a splash of milk. Praying for grace.
I turn on the shower and reach for the soap. The filth and grime of summer feet and a central air conditioning system that barely works reminds me of that filth and grime in my soul, and I am again calling out to God.
I'm sure this is not unlike most mother's and their relationship with God.
But back in the, I have time to spend quality time with God for hours and hours on end and not think about anything else or be distracted by anything else, days I remember praying this prayer--
I prayed that my heart would be broken for "the lost", for those who don't know Christ. And I prayed for the lost, that they would find Jesus.
"Jesus, I pray that I would not live, but you would live through me. I pray that I would be a light in a dark world. I pray that my light would be bright and shining and that it would not be easily snuffed out."--October 2004, from my prayer journal
"Pour into me your love and let it overflow into everyone around me."
"I pray that my relationship with you would become strengthened and that my life would become a fragrant offering to you which draws others to know you. I pray that you would be pleased to soften the hearts of my friends who don't know you. You are a powerful God who can move mountains. I pray you would break their hardened hearts and draw them to repent of their sins and know you more."--August 2009
"Give me the words to speak and the strength and courage to open my mouth."--2010
Lately, my spirit has felt crushed, and my soul has been in anguish over my dear loved ones who don't know Christ. This prayer I prayed eleven plus years ago has been answered. My heart is broken for the lost. I have tasted a drop of what Paul meant when he said, “If it were possible, I would give up my hope of eternal life so that others who do not know could come to faith.”
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