Through the Glass Dimly

God is our refuge and strength, a very present help in trouble. (Psalm 46:1) "A help that is not present when we need it is of small value. The anchor which is left at home is of no use to the sailor in the hour of storm; the money which he used to have is of no worth to the debtor when a writ is out against him. Very few earthly helps could be called "very present": they are usually far in the seeking, far in the using, and farther still when once used. But as for the Lord our God, He is present when we seek Him, present when we need Him, and present when we have already enjoyed His aid. He is more than "present," He is very present. More present than the nearest friend can be, for He is in us in our trouble; more present than we are to ourselves, for sometimes we lack presence of mind. He is always present, effectually present, sympathetically present, altogether present. He is present now if this is a gloomy season. Let us rest ourselves upon Him. He is our

After about eight months of uncertainty, worry, trying to figure out how to fix my heart, many many medical bills, and a trans-country-move later, December 30th I will be going in for my heart procedure. It will be an outpatient procedure. We'll be flying into Victoria on December 29th to stay at a hotel. At 6:30 in the morning on the 3th we'll arrive at the hospital. My procedure will begin at noon. It should last about 3 hours. When its over, I'll just have to lay in a bed for about 5 hours to make sure that the place where the heart catheter is inserted heals up properly. We should be leaving the hospital around 7 pm that night or a bit later. We'll stay at a hotel that night and fly home to Kelowna on the 31st. For those of you that pray, thank you for your prayers over this last year. We really appreciate it, and are so grateful that our big God answers prayer in amazing abundant ways. Instead of having to pay $26,000 for this procedure, we will be paying nothing.

Some lyrics for you because that's all I have in me for today. Switchfoot: This is Home "I've got my memories Always inside of me But I cant go back, back to how it was I believe now Ive come too far No I cant go back, back to how it was Created for a place I've never known This is home Now I'm finally where I belong, where I belong Yeah this is home, I've been searching for a place of my own, Now I found it, maybe this is home Yes this is home Belief over misery I've seen the enemy And I wont go back, back to how it was And I got my heart set on what happens next I got my eyes wide its not over yet We miracles, and were not alone Yeah this is home, now I'm finally where I belong Yea this is home, I've been searching for a place of my own, Now I found it, maybe this is home Yes this is home And now, after all my searching After all my questions I'm going to call it home I got a brand new mind set I can finally see the sunset I'm gonna call i

Well, in the last two weeks I've started a new job. I am now a Barista. I'm making coffee all day and talking about coffee all day and smelling like coffee all day. So far I'm really enjoying this part-time-mean-time-job. If only it paid a little better. Hmmm... In other news: Josh's immigration progress-- We have been in Canada for a month and a half and have basically made no progress. I guess we have made a little as far as figuring out what exactly we have to do, but only by trial and error. We first tried what Josh's future employer said to do, which was mail in our paper-work. Well that turned out wrong, and by the grace of God, I thought to call and check on the progress. If I hadn't done that we wouldn't have gotten our $150 deposit back. The next step we took was to tell Toys R Us they needed to get it all together and apply for us. Well after another 2 weeks of that, Josh called them to find out the progress, and they told him to just apply for per

Its been a long time since I last wrote. A lot has happened since then. We packed up everything into a Penske Truck, said goodbye to all our family and friends, and moved to Kelowna, British Columbia. Much talk has been made about why we moved. We've said, "Josh wanted to live in the mountains" and "We thought it would be fun" and "We wanted to try something new", but above all else, the very root of why we moved was because we have had a really difficult year because of my health, and poor health insurance. We felt like it would be good for me to be close to my family because it was so hard for me to be away from my family when I was being taken back and forth to the emergency room, racking up loads of medical bills, etc. It just made more sense for us to come to Canada to be with family, and be able to have good insurance that WOULD cover my heart. So yesterday I got to go to my new Canadian Cardiologist. He introduced himself to us as Peter. He is a

Well, I can now finally tell you that we are officially moving to Kelowna, British Columbia! We will be leaving September 22nd at 6 AM. More details to come!

Well, to start out, today is day one of my diet. I am going to actually follow the South Beach Diet this time around and add in a little of the French mind set. I am beginning with the horrible Phaze 1, which eliminates all sweets, and generally anything with a high glycemic index. I have decided to replace my over-eating with good wholesome things. For instance, today I decided that since I can't have toast, I will write a blog. Generally I am bad at baby steps. Its either all or nothing with me, so starting a diet isn't that difficult. However, the problem is that a lot of the time I give up too easily. Perhaps baby steps would be better, but I'd rather cut to the chase and get done what I want to get done. If I write about it, perhaps I will feel more motivated. So today I began my day with a delicious omelet. The ingredients are as follows (keep in mind this is a 2 person recipe): 2 tsp of Olive Oil 1/2 of a small onion, thinly sliced 1 Roma tomato, diced 2 handfulls of

I was reading back over an old blog and read this post from February 2008. Its funny how God comforts us through our own words sometimes. No wonder the old testament is filled with the advice to look back to the days of old, and see what God did for you then. Only then, are we able to see what He might be doing in us and through us now. I hope you enjoy this post as much as I did: YWH is my Shepherd I shall not want He makes me lie down in green pastures He leads me beside waters of rest He restores my soul He guides me in paths of righteousness For His names sake Even though I walk through the valley of deep deep darkness I fear no evil For You are with me I am comforted by your rod and staff --I was studying the literal Hebrew translations in this famous passage last night, and found that I like the alternative translations that I found.... waters of rest, and deep deep darkness. A passage that is so widely known that it almost has lost its meaning for those that have heard it over a

I love how blogging forces me to seek God about the issue I'm dealing with. The search for a better insurance plan continues. The problem with ours is that its a "Limited Benefit Plan". This means that instead of having a deductible and the insurance paying 80% while you are responsible for 20%, you end up paying the majority of the medical costs and the insurance picks up only $1500 for major medical expenses. Because it is so limited, you can't make any deals with them. All my doctors will accept this plan, but it just ends up costing me out of pocket more than it costs them. Now I have come to another hang up in finding an Individual Health Insurance plan (my office isn't part of a group plan, and the insurance offered to Josh at his job offers a group plan, but its the worst, as we now know). I can get on a plan through my office, but the Insurance company they use will not cover my heart at all. I do have the option of finding my own plan and my employer wil

I started to write an update, and I knew what I was going to write. As I was about to make my way this way to write my thoughts down, I was reminded, "If you don't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all." God graciously reminded me that my attitude today was not for His glory. " Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is --his good, pleasing and perfect will." Romans 12:2 So I went, yet again, to my old friend Spurgeon and was comforted (yet again) by his words which always point me back to Christ. " ...The holy rest which springs out of faith in the Lord Jesus also greatly helps a man when he is ill. ... Let us not be overcome with sudden expectation of death the moment we have a finger-ache, but let us rather expect that we may have to work on through a considerable length of days.... The truest lengthening o

Here's a word from Spurgeon on Psalm 23 that was encouraging to me today. Psalm 23 Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me. "But the verse is equally applicable to agonies of spirit in the midst of life. Some of us, like Paul, die daily through a tendency to gloom of soul. Bunyan puts the Valley of the Shadow of Death far earlier in the pilgrimage than the river which rolls at the foot of the celestial hills. We have some of us traversed the dark and dreadful defile of "the shadow of death" several times, and we can bear witness that the Lord alone enabled us to bear up amid its wild thought, its mysterious horrors, its terrible depressions. The Lord has sustained us and kept us above all real fear of evil, even when our spirit has been overwhelmed. We have been pressed and oppressed, but yet we have lived, for we have felt the presence of the Great Shepherd and h

I have a prayer request. I've been having trouble with my heart for the last three months. The medication that I take every day hasn't been regulating my tachycardia problem well enough, and I have gone to the ER 3 times in the last 3 months. Twice they had to give me an IV of some medicine that stopped my heart and restarted it. Since then I found a cardiologist in Houston, who says I need to get a procedure done called an ablation. They go in through a vein with a wire and camera and sensors and travel to your heart and find out what area of your heart is causing the electrical glitch that causes the tachycardia episode. Then they zap that tissue that causes the problem. The procedure should totally cure the problem that I have been struggling with for 13 years. However, our insurance looks like they will only cover maybe 1500 of the 26000 cost, if any at all. Please pray that God would provide a way to pay for this procedure, as it isn't really an option to not have it

"I like to start my notes to you like we are already in the middle of a conversation." As if we have been talking about the pursuit of super-womaninity for weeks, no, years. For the last little while I have been fascinated by women who seem to sore above the rest, accomplishing amazing feats like not hitting the snooze button. A woman who is able to spend time on her hair and makeup, have quiet time, eat breakfast, go to work all day, come home and cook an amazing dinner, do the dishes, wash the clothes, clean, pay the bills, manage the budget, spend quality time with her husband, and go to sleep having accomplished all her hard work for the day. Oh, and how about adding a few kids in there and doing the mommy thing as well. Perhaps we can't always get it all done. But I do know a few people who come quite close. I lived with my sister for a few months in 2007. I believe this is when my fascination with super-hero qualities began. My sister had just had her second baby an