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Confession: Not a Super-Woman

As I write I am 9 weeks pregnant with baby #2. For the last 3 or 4 weeks I have felt really really yucky.

My confession is this:

Pregnancy seems to bring out the worst in me... I was thinking about that the other day. My mood is never worse, my energy so low, my ability to make dinner almost completely goes away, and I seem sad all the time in what should be a HAPPY joyous time. The nausea medicine I just began taking last week makes me sleepier than sleepy all day long.

I am so not proud of this.

Some people are good at being pregnant. Some people are still sick, but manage to maintain their super-woman-hood: ie my sister. Lindsey is pretty amazing to me. All her talk about cleaning and cleaning products and making fabulous meals, while having all day morning sickness... well that sounds miraculous to me. Washing a load of laundry is probably the extent of my energy expenditures during the day... and that is just washing it and drying it... I can never quite seem to get it folded... my poor husband.

And so as I write this to you, I feel guilty. About 2 months ago I felt like I was really getting into a good routine of cooking dinner and cleaning and taking care of Ellie and running. Things had seemed to get into a good flow. And then I got pregnant, and everything kind of went to pot.

All of this really was weighing on me for the last week or so. And then we had a guest speaker at church yesterday who reminded me of something that I had almost forgotten. (Ellie actually slept through the entire service, so I was able to take NOTES!!! A real mood booster! I love to take notes, it just helps me absorb what is being said so much better, and it is a rarity with a 10 month old in church.)

I was reminded that I'm not in this alone. God is still faithful and I am so thankful that my help is in the name of the Lord who made heaven and earth. All of my efforts (be they ever so small) throughout the day to grow a baby while trying to keep up with my other jobs, are not done alone. My help is in the name of the Lord. And HE made the heavens and the earth. I am so thankful.
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