Through the Glass Dimly

As I write I am 9 weeks pregnant with baby #2. For the last 3 or 4 weeks I have felt really really yucky. My confession is this: Pregnancy seems to bring out the worst in me... I was thinking about that the other day. My mood is never worse, my energy so low, my ability to make dinner almost completely goes away, and I seem sad all the time in what should be a HAPPY joyous time. The nausea medicine I just began taking last week makes me sleepier than sleepy all day long. I am so not proud of this. Some people are good at being pregnant. Some people are still sick, but manage to maintain their super-woman-hood: ie my sister. Lindsey is pretty amazing to me. All her talk about cleaning and cleaning products and making fabulous meals, while having all day morning sickness... well that sounds miraculous to me. Washing a load of laundry is probably the extent of my energy expenditures during the day... and that is just washing it and drying it... I can never quite seem to get it fol

I suddenly awoke to my heart beat sky rocketing. It was literally 180-200 beats per minute. I hadn't had a bad dream. I wasn't extra stressed about anything in life. I was 25, 9 months into a brand new marriage, and was living in Houston, Texas surrounded by good art. That morning changed everything. My husband called an ambulance and the paramedics came. I laid on my couch in my living room while they struggled to find a vein to start my IV. Finally, after 5 attempts the iv was in. As I searched for my husbands face and held his hand I was told they were going ton push a drug that would cause my heart rate to beat normally. My heart was still pounding 180-210 per minute, and was extremely irregular. My chest was beginning to ache from my heart working so hard. "This is going to feel really weird" they told me, as I grasped Josh's hand so tightly and stared into his eyes. And with that they pushed this medicine that made my veins feel greasy, made my heart f

We are in love with these burgers!!!!!! Wow were they ever good. I think this is the best new recipe I've made in years. I made some changes to the original recipe to make it my own (as always). Just wanted to share with you: Indian-Spiced Turkey Burgers 1Ib Extra Lean Ground Turkey 4 Scallions, thinly sliced 3 Tbs Chopped fresh ginger 2 Tbs Fresh Lemon Juice 1 Tbs Paprika 2 tsp Ground Cumin 1/2 tsp ground cardamon 1/4 tsp cayenne pepper coarse salt and fresh ground pepper Vegetable Oil Whole Wheat Pitas Halved 1 Cucumber, halved lengthwise and thinly sliced on the diagonal 1/2 C fresh cilantro sprigs Preheat grill to medium high. In a bowl mix together the turkey, thinly sliced scallions, ginger, lemon juice, paprika, cumin, cardamon, cayenne, 1 1/2 tsp coarse salt, and 1/2 tsp pepper. Gently form the mixture into 3/4 inch patties (I made minis so I could put 2 in each pocket). Oil your grill with the vegetable oil. Season patties with coarse salt

I don't write because I don't think I have anything brilliant to say. I don't create because I don't think I will make the greatest piece of artwork ever made. And I did not write this because its brilliant (it most definitely is not), but because writing has a kind of therapeutic value for me. I always felt like I had something to say before, but I'm in a new stage of life... a stage where I know very little about anything. You can always know that your life is going to change dramatically whenever you get to a point where you think you have things figured out. You think you have the puzzle pieces that make everything make sense. I remember wanting this. Desiring to be a wife and stay at home mom so badly. I remember my sister saying something like, "Shouldn't you aspire to be something greater?" I was so mad. So now this is my life. Its funny how 10 years changes you as a person. How different I am now from when I was 17 and in high school,

I have not blogged in a long time. That's what everyone with a blog says when they write a blog after taking a long departure from the blogosphere. So what have I been doing? Learning how to be a mommy. Ellie turned 4 months old last week, and was baptized yesterday!!! I feel sooo blessed to be called her mother, and she thrills my soul. Trying to jump start my photography business. Being on maternity leave is really giving me the opportunity to figure out what I really want in life, and that is to be a mommy/wife, create, write, and cook. I remember falling in love with photography long ago, and I am rediscovering my old love. There is so much to start a business its a bit overwhelming, but I pray the Lord directs each of my steps on this attempt and that I don't get so busy that I become a bad mommy. In my attempt to jumpstart my business and to figure out what I really want, I attended this online seminar the other day about being in years 1-3 of a new photography busi

Ellie had what we thought were a couple of seizures yesterday afternoon. They scared her and us, so we headed to the hospital where she had one more "episode". Anyhow, the ER doctor told us that it sounded like a perfect description of seizures, and sent the pediatrician on duty to talk to us. The pediatrician said that only one of the three episode sounded like a possible seizure, so he ordered us to stay 48 hours for observation, and an EEG. I'm not really sure how I feel about their differences in opinion... but I am grateful that tests are getting done. Nothing happened after we were admitted, except a lot of terrible sleep. They weren't going to let Josh stay with me, but they did in the end, as he asked if he could sleep in the rocking chair. I was so grateful that he was here. I was really a nervous wreck, and was not looking forward to finding out what I would be like when he left. This morning she had her EEG. She did great. They p